What Hollywood gets wrong about matchmaking: A real expert weighs in on Materialists

In Materialists, Dakota Johnson plays a jaded matchmaker navigating love and spreadsheets in Manhattan’s elite dating scene. But according to Maria Avgitidis, a fourth-generation professional matchmaker based in New York City, the movie’s portrayal of her industry is more fiction than fact. From unrealistic job methods to dangerously simplified ethics, Avgitidis opens up about what the film gets right — and very wrong — about the business of modern love.

The movie myth of the Manhattan matchmaker

In Materialists, Dakota Johnson’s character Lucy is a high-end New York matchmaker making just $80,000 a year and passing out business cards to strangers on the street. According to Maria Avgitidis, who runs the boutique matchmaking agency Agape, this depiction is already off-base. While the salary estimate is accurate for employees at large-scale services, the idea of cold-prospecting on sidewalks is outdated and theatrical. “That might have happened before 2008,” Avgitidis says. “Now, clients come to us. We’re not chasing them down in cafes.”

What’s more, the film shows Lucy conducting deeply personal conversations in public spaces and celebrating client marriages with office cakes. For Avgitidis, such dramatizations miss the mark. “Nobody wants to meet us in an office anymore. We work over Zoom,” she explains. “And while we do a little shimmy dance when a couple gets engaged, there’s no cake. We’re already on to the next match.”

Misrepresenting the matchmaking profession

Beyond surface-level inaccuracies, Materialists venture into more serious territory that troubles professionals like Avgitidis. The film includes a subplot involving a sexual assault during a first date arranged by Lucy’s service — a storyline Avgitidis says is deeply unrealistic and mishandled. “That would be a major industry crisis,” she says. “We’d be having meetings, legal discussions, trauma resources — not brushing it off like in the movie.”

While the film tries to highlight the emotional and ethical responsibilities of matchmakers, it does so in a way that oversimplifies the real work behind the scenes. Lucy’s character scribbles just a few lines about a client — age, preferred age range, and maybe a trait or two — before setting them up. “We write essays,” says Avgitidis. “We vet communication styles, values, and long-term compatibility. That kind of superficial profile? I’ve fired employees for less.”

Matchmaking as both profession and passion

As a fourth-generation matchmaker, Avgitidis sees her role not just as a career but a community mission. “My grandmother and great-grandmother built relationships during wartime,” she says. “Matchmaking is about building community. It’s not just putting two people in a room and hoping they click.”

While Materialists paint Lucy as a cynical figure losing faith in love, Avgitidis believes genuine passion is essential to the profession. “If you don’t believe in love, you’re in the wrong business,” she says. “You’re not promising marriage. You’re guiding people toward better dating experiences and cheering them on.”

According to Avgitidis, burnout in the industry is real — most new matchmakers don’t last beyond 18 months — but that’s where professionalism and emotional boundaries become crucial. “Yes, I’ve set up over 7,000 first dates. Yes, I stress about them at night. But I’m not your therapist or your bridesmaid. I respect those lines.”

The matchmaking reality check

The film raises legal and ethical questions about accountability in matchmaking, but Avgitidis notes that responsibility is shared. “We’re not liable for what happens on a date,” she says. “But we do have systems in place — next-day feedback emails, strict guidelines, and client vetting — to help protect people.”

That said, Avgitidis does believe Materialists could spark more nuanced conversations about the industry. “If you’re thinking of hiring a matchmaker, your first match should be with your matchmaker,” she advises. “Ask about their methods, their network, and how they screen people. And know this isn’t a one-size-fits-all process — it’s deeply personal.”

She also wishes the film had shown the fuller picture: the community-building, the legacy, the strategy. “We’re not just data processors. We’re connectors. Builders. Sometimes even healers,” she says. “The industry deserves more than a romantic comedy subplot.”

Materialists is currently in theaters: Maria Avgitidis’ book Ask a Matchmaker: Matchmaker Maria’s No-Nonsense Guide to Finding Love is available now.