Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo: 40 Years of Rock, Romance, and Resilience

The legendary couple open up about the rhythms of marriage, making music, and why space and silence might be their greatest duet yet.

After more than four decades of music, marriage, and memories, Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo continue to prove that some partnerships only get stronger with time. Whether they’re on stage in front of thousands or at home enjoying time with their grandchildren, the iconic rock duo still radiate the same spark that first brought them together in the late ’70s.

At the 50th Anniversary Chapin Awards Gala hosted by WhyHunger in New York City, the couple shared with PEOPLEthe enduring secrets behind their lasting love. What started as a powerful musical collaboration has evolved into a model of partnership—rooted in mutual respect, a sense of humor, and knowing when not to speak.

A Rock-Solid Foundation

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo first met in 1979, and it didn’t take long for their musical chemistry to evolve into something deeper. Giraldo joined Benatar’s band as lead guitarist, and by 1982, they had tied the knot. Today, the two are proud parents to daughters Haley (40) and Hana (31), and doting grandparents to Stevie, Lola, and Cash. With a career that has spanned over 40 years, the couple has sold more than 36 million albums and taken home four Grammy Awards. In 2022, their impact on the music industry was cemented with an induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Despite the glamour and touring, the heart of their story lies in the little moments—the ones that don’t make headlines but quietly shape a life together. “We never go to bed angry,” says Benatar, a mantra many couples swear by but few follow as faithfully. Giraldo adds, “We’ve learned how to be quiet and still be in the same room without needing to talk. That’s important.”

Benatar laughs in agreement, “We’re together 24/7, and we know how to give each other space in the same space.” That ability to coexist comfortably—without always filling the silence—might just be their most underrated skill.

Balancing Work, Love, and Legacy

When it comes to working together, the couple has built what can only be described as an artistic empire. “We’re constantly creating,” says Giraldo. “And after all this time, we still enjoy it.” Most recently, they’ve wrapped a concert tour and are preparing to hit the road again—this time as special guests on Bryan Adams’ Roll with the Punches Tour. But while the stage is a second home for the duo, they don’t always agree on how to get there.

“I just want to go out and play—whatever happens, happens,” Giraldo says of rehearsing. “Be in the moment. Be real.”Benatar, ever the professional, gently disagrees: “I just want to rehearse for three months,” she says with a smile.

This rhythm—of contrast, compromise, and creative push-pull—has defined their career and marriage. They’ve learned to support each other’s needs while embracing their differences. Perhaps that’s the key to staying in harmony, both onstage and off.

Later this year, the couple will also release a children’s book, My Grandma and Grandpa Rock!, a playful ode to their legacy and a love letter to their grandkids. As they continue expanding their artistic reach, they never lose sight of the broader impact they want to have.

Passion with a Purpose

At the WhyHunger Gala, Benatar and Giraldo were honored with the ASCAP Harry Chapin Humanitarian Award, recognizing their long-standing advocacy in the fight to end hunger. The award highlights their ongoing commitment to using their platform for social good—a mission that’s been woven into their music and public lives from the start.

“We’ve always believed that if you have a voice, you should use it,” says Benatar. And use it they have, supporting efforts not only to alleviate hunger but also to address its root causes. For them, humanitarian work is not a side project—it’s part of the same ethos that has driven their music: honesty, heart, and an unwillingness to ignore injustice. They were joined at the gala by fellow honoree Laura Coates of CNN, who received the inaugural Bill Ayres Social Justice Award.

Still Rocking, Still in Love

As they prepare for yet another tour, Benatar reflects on what the road means to her now. “It’s like breathing,” she says. “You pack the bags and go. We play so much that it’s not a reset—it’s just the next chapter.”

For all their fame and accolades, what stands out most about Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo is their humanity. They joke about old habits (like the “you’re always right” rule, which Benatar playfully says “worked for so long”), cherish their family, and find joy in just being together—even in silence. In a world where celebrity relationships often burn bright and fade fast, theirs is a rare kind of duet: composed over decades, lived in full volume, and grounded in something real. And as Giraldo puts it with a grin, “We’ll make stuff up if we want.” That, perhaps, is the final secret—knowing how to improvise, laugh, and keep the music going.